How we are More than a Label
Using labels, words or phrases that categorise or describe, is built into our way of thinking. It’s what helps us in everything from performing everyday tasks like laundry (sorting by colour and fabric) to social situations (identifying those with shared experiences, beliefs, and values). Considering the labels within our lives can support us to better understand our sense of self, thoughts, and behaviours. This article explores the value and challenges of labels we give ourselves, are assigned, and attach to others.
How labels stick
Being labelled by others can lead to us feeling stereotyped, pigeon-holed, or misunderstood. It’s important to remember that a label is an interpretation by someone, informed by their experiences, values and beliefs. A label can also affect how others treat us, which in turn can encourage and embed an aspect of ourselves. Someone who is considered conscientious may be given more responsibility than others, and someone who is considered adaptable may be given more freedom. In this way, we can conform to labels because they become what’s expected of us. We can also adopt behaviours when they represent what we think people like about us. Although it’s natural to seek acceptance and to feel valued, we also need to embrace all parts of us and believe in our inherent worth.
One size doesn’t fit all
Creating labels can help us make sense of our relationships, especially when we’re feeling confused or overwhelmed by them. We might explain indifference from others as us being ‘uninteresting’, acceptance as due to our ‘compliance’, or overattentiveness as due to our ‘neediness’. This process can oversimplify what’s going on and lead us to make unnecessary or unhelpful adjustments. For example, we might explain a friend’s lack of contact as us not being important, learning to minimise what we ask of others and dismiss what we might need. But what if that friend was preoccupied by life events, affected by poor mental health, or unsure of our response? Finding a way to feel comfortable enough with uncertainty can give us space to consider the whole picture and find the right words to describe what’s happening.
We are all label-makers
We are also labelled according to our identity, background and environment. Examples of this include gender, age, career, education, hobbies, ethnicity, relationship status, and spirituality. Sometimes these labels allow to feel part of a community, to provide us with shared understanding, structure and meaning. Sometimes labels can result in us feeling we don’t belong in certain places, leading us to feel isolated or alone. Sometimes labels can feel simultaneously helpful and harmful, especially where different labels overlap or feel incompatible, such as our sexual, religious and cultural identity. As organising information about others often happens unconsciously, out of habit, it can be useful to take a moment to notice how we’re going about this task. Being mindful about how we apply labels allows us to challenge assumptions we might not consciously agree with.
Choosing our own labels
In therapy, labels can support us to identify and attend to our needs and live authentically. An illustration is someone experiencing persistent high levels of sadness, lethargy, disinterest, sleep disturbance, loss of appetite, inability to concentrate, and/or social withdrawal. In some cases, it might be appropriate to use the diagnostic term ‘depression’ to describe how they are feeling. In other cases, it might be appropriate to use descriptive terms such as ‘uneasiness’ or ‘low mood’. Choosing how we are defined allows us to make use of our unique understanding of ourselves and to feel empowered. It’s also helpful for labels to be flexible enough for us to adapt and outgrow them. This is because the belief in our ability to change supports us to realise changes we want to make.
Further information
The Psychology Tips site provides an interesting brief overview of What is Cognitive Labelling Theory?, while this Psychology Spot blog has some interesting ideas on How Do the Labels we use Change our Reality?.
