Recent restrictions around meeting face-to-face have encouraged many of us to experiment with new types of communication. In turn, we’ve been able to see new possibilities in working and socialising together in different ways. Here I look at online counselling, with a focus on telephone and video sessions, to help you consider whether it might work for you. What are the benefits and challenges, what does it look and feel like and how does it differ from in-person therapy?

Bringing therapy into your home

Online counselling can allow you to take ownership over your space. You can make yourself as comfortable as possible by choosing how and where you position yourself. You might even prefer to speak outdoors if you can find the necessary quiet and privacy. This may result in finding it easier to talk, focus and express yourself. However, it’s also worth thinking about how it will feel to invite your therapist into your space. This may make a difference which space you choose in the same way that you might want to keep a distinction between your work life and personal life outside of hours. Your therapist should help you to think about how to manage the space you work in together to keep it safe and useful.

Working with technology

Working online can remove barriers to support by giving us greater flexibility. Not needing to travel to a specific place might open up when you can schedule sessions and who you speak to. It can also take away any fears of being seen and judged. However, the journey to and from a therapy room can be a useful time to prepare and unwind. It can therefore be useful to give yourself space to process what you’ve been talking about after online sessions. It’s also important to agree a back-up plan with your counsellor in case you lose connection during a session. The ‘black hole’ effect of having contact cut off can sometimes bring up uncomfortable feelings of abandonment or rejection from other parts of our life.

Building an online relationship

The ability for a therapist and client to build a trusting relationship is often considered the biggest factor in how useful the work will be. When communicating remotely it can also be useful to be aware of the ‘Disinhibition effect’. This is a tendency for people to share things we might not say in person due to feeling anonymous or invisible. Sharing information too quickly can leave us feeling vulnerable and guilty, especially where our story involves others. However, it can also give us confidence in what it means to speak in a confidential and non-judgemental space. At the same time, online disinhibition can allow those who are shy or who feel easily affected by the views of others to share what they want to say more easily.

Not going unnoticed

What we see gives us lots of information in addition to what’s being said. Someone describing feeling contented while shifting in their chair suggests that something else might be going on. When visual signals aren’t available (on the phone) or are limited (by a camera angle), your therapist will look out for ‘unspoken’ information in other ways, for example by listening for changes in the tone of your voice. They may also ask you to describe your body language or expression to understand how you’re feeling. It can be useful to think about what it would mean for you not to see your therapist. Even if you don’t want to be seen on screen, you could use video but with your camera turned off.

Further Information

If you are interested to explore online therapy, please ensure your therapist is trained in providing online services. You can also read information provided by the BACP on Online Working as well as my Online Counselling Guidelines.

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