What’s an initial conversation with a therapist like?
Sometimes called an assessment, an initial conversation is a time for a therapist and client to meet to explore if they might be able to do some meaningful work together. It’s not a commitment to further sessions or to a particular counsellor or therapist. It’s a moment to ask any questions you have about the process, to experience a little of what the therapeutic relationship can feel like and to get a professional opinion on what might be useful for you at that moment.
What to expect
An initial conversation is about sharing information on both sides, with a therapist sharing how they work and with you sharing what life’s like for you and what kind of change you’re wanting to see. Because of this focus there will probably be more questions than in any sessions to follow. Topics that might come up include your living situation, work situation and relationships with family/friends/romantic partners. There may also be questions that feel less comfortable, such as relevant medical history or whether you’ve ever harmed yourself. These are necessary to ensure that a therapist can keep things safe for you. However, you should always feel able to ask about the purpose of a question and to not feel pressure to disclose anything.
How to prepare
It’s not necessary to do any formal preparation for an initial conversation. However, it’s important to make sure that you’re able to access a quiet space where you can focus and feel reassured that you won’t be interrupted. It might also be useful to think about what days and times you find it easiest to set other thoughts and responsibilities aside. If you do have questions about the therapist, the process or anything else it might be useful to have these to hand so that you don’t have to hold these in mind. One thing you will be asked is why you have decided to look into counselling at this moment in time. However, the main thing to recognise is that there are no wrong answers.
Things you should know
At the beginning of the session a therapist will cover some practical things it’s important for you to be aware of. The most important of these is what confidentiality means within your conversation and the possible limits to this. A good therapist will be able to give you a realistic picture of what therapy can do, and what a reasonable timeline might look like. For example, while you can gain some useful insight and tools as part of a time-limited piece of work some changes will require more time and space to reflect. If you’ve had any previous experiences of counselling or therapy you might also talk about what worked and what didn’t work for you, as many therapists will look to incorporate this.
What happens next?
At the end of the conversation a therapist will give a recommendation on what they think might be most useful for you at this time. You should then be given some time to go away and reflect on what you think would be best for you. If you’re both interested to work together, you will agree on whether this is on a short- or longer-term basis and how regularly you will meet. If you decide that you’d like to proceed with therapy but would like to see if another therapist is a better fit, you should feel free to do this. Or you might decide that no further appointments are needed. This may be because you got what you wanted from the consultation, because you and your counsellor discussed other ways of getting you what you need or because it doesn’t feel like the right time for you.
Further Information
Initial conversations will vary across counsellors and therapists, all of which have their own ways of working. However, you can read more about 7 Questions your therapist will probably ask during your first session in this recent Huffington Post article.
