Although for many of us daily life still feels very different from the beginning of the year a move towards ‘reopening’ society, however gradual or fleeting, will mark a real moment of change. Perhaps now is one moment to take a breath and reflect. It’s not about whether an experience has been good or bad, it’s about the fact that something just happened.

The importance of the journey

Many of us get through a difficult situation by focussing on coming out the other side. It’s like staring straight ahead on a ghost train to avoid the imagined horrors around us, concentrating on the sense of relief we’ll feel when the ride comes to an end. The point that things begin to feel more manageable or comfortable is the point at which we can take stock of things. It’s about recognising having got through a difficult situation as well as acknowledging the journey, even if this was sometimes painful. I believe this process helps us to heal and to move on, hopefully having learned something about ourselves that we can make use of in the future.

How you made it through

Reflection can involve noticing what helped you to get through challenges. Were there people who gave you strength through their warmth, advice or understanding? Did you find ways to unlock your own strength or to realise just how much strength and resilience you have? Was there something different about your environment that had a positive effect on you? Did your routine change in a way that gave you more balance in your life? Also, did you discover tools that helped you to manage difficult feelings such as grounding techniques (see below)? If so, it could be useful to note what these are and how you can hold on to them in case you want to make use of them again.

Learning about yourself

It might also be useful to notice what you learnt about yourself from being in an unfamiliar situation. For example, some people who find group social situations challenging found themselves able to reach out to support others. Some who identified as highly socially active found themselves able to enjoy their own company in a new way. And some who are usually restricted to the home found themselves able to feel more connected to the outside world. It can be difficult to acknowledge the positive things within a difficult situation, especially when you and those around you may have lost much. However, this doesn’t diminish our sympathy or respect towards what has been lost.

Thinking about the difficult things

And then perhaps the most difficult thing to reflect on; what you’ve lost. There are certainly things that many people lost in the short-term, such as their freedoms around social contact and lifestyle choices. Some also lost the ability to take care of themselves, not only through illness, but through loss of access to services that otherwise help people live independently. Some lost the future they had imagined for themselves due to loss of jobs and other opportunities. And, of course, many people have lost loved ones. While it may not be possible to make sense of these losses, it’s important to think about and express what they mean to us. There needs to be a moment for celebrating what we have protected but also to grieve for what we have lost.

Further information

A summary of useful grounding techniques can be found in this Psychology Today article. Please also feel free to visit my Music on Reflecting playlist, which takes the idea of reflection as its starting point.

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