Tina Speed, Counselling and Psychotherapy, Holloway North London, in-person|phone|video, BACP member

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Socialising after lockdown

Our experiences of the pandemic are likely to determine how we react to the easing and eventual lifting of recent restrictions around socialising. Some of us will want to welcome a return to life before lockdown, some will want to explore the idea of ‘a new normal’ and some will not yet feel ready for another change. Here I look at some of the ways that re-socialising, adapting to a new environment, can affect how we think and feel.  

A new Physical Education

Over the past year we’ve all developed new behaviours for dealing with a new threat. Associating physical contact with the risk of infection has allowed us to protect ourselves and those around us. But, as lockdown eases, how do we prepare to be around people in different ways again? It’s partly about knowingly repeating an action until it becomes automatic. It’s partly about uncoupling the action from any emotional response, for example fear. It’s also worth noting that, as with learning habits such as social distancing, unlearning both processes will take time. You might feel excited about seeing people again while also noticing yourself feeling anxious at the idea. Acknowledging these feelings and understanding where they come from can help to manage them.

Social skills and Anxiety

Spending less time talking face-to-face with people can also make us lose confidence in our social skills. When we’re in isolation we can slip into old patterns of behaviour, such as avoiding uncomfortable situations. Perhaps you’ve found lockdown a time to enjoy your own company without Fear of Missing Out or perhaps you’ve preferred to connect to others by text or in group chats. It’s likely that you’ve found a way through similar experiences before, forming relationships in a new job or social group. A reassuring thought might be that on this occasion everyone around you will be learning to find their place in society again, even though we’ll all have been experiencing lockdown differently.

Social networking

Whether our routine has been affected a little or a lot by the pandemic, it’s likely that there’s been a change in the way we spend time with others. This may have strengthened some relationships, for example ‘levelling up’ access to friends, relatives, or colleagues, or increasing leisure time with our partners, children, or housemates. Changes in our routine may also have been challenging for some relationships, limiting necessary time apart from those we’re close to or isolating us from a social group. Reflecting on how we’ve been feeling in relationships can help us use a moment of social change to make them work better for us, or to allow us to step aside from them.

Social responsibility

The pandemic has been a moment of being asked to follow strict rules around socialising; “what do I want to do?” became “what am I allowed I do?”. The lifting of restrictions will mean the reintroduction of social freedoms. However, you might notice yourself needing time to readjust to a sense of responsibility for the choices you make. You might also find yourself noticing the influence of others on how you make decisions; “what do others want or expect me to do?”. An example might be gauging whether to greet people with an uninhibited bear hug or a cautious elbow-bump when you first see them in person again. Learning more about ourselves allows us to celebrate the things we value and to notice things we may want to encourage within ourselves.    

Further information

This article on ‘Re-entry syndrome’ talks about how to deal with anxiety as lockdown lifts. And the short video ‘ways to FACE COVID’ shares techniques on managing anxieties that apply to both entering and exiting the pandemic.


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