The terms ‘Introvert’ and ‘Extrovert’, associated with Psychologist Carl Jung, have been around for decades but have become popular again in recent years. These two different personality types roughly translate as ‘inward-looking’ and ‘outward-looking’. The names can be useful in helping us to understand why people can behave differently from each other. Here I’m looking at whether the true meaning of these words has become lost in translation.

Nature vs Nurture

The danger of labelling ourselves as an extrovert or an introvert is that it’s not always easy to tell which we are. This is partly because we’re a mix of characteristics we were born with and those we’ve learned through our environment, some of which can seem to contradict each other. You might be fantastic at sharing your thoughts and feelings, creating space for yourself in a group and making people feel entertained and at ease while also needing to spend time alone. On the other hand, you might be fantastic at organising your thoughts and feelings, drawing on your independence and making people feel heard and understood while also needing to spend time with others. It’s not necessarily which environment you thrive in, but which one gives you energy.

Role reversals

Putting things into categories is the way that we’re programmed to make sense of the world. It also means that we can make assumptions about people without looking at the detail. Extroverts can sometimes be assumed to be strong-willed, confident, risk-taking, and thick-skinned. Introverts can sometimes be assumed to be accommodating, modest, cautious, and sensitive. Sometimes this can lead us to ‘take on’ a role based on what we think others want or expect to see in us. Being on the receiving hand of assumptions or judgements can leave us feeling hurt, resentful, frustrated, disregarded, and confused. Understanding yourself and feeling secure in who you really are mean that we’re more resilient to the opinions of others.

Useful care labels

Being able to identify our character traits can help us to make sense of how we’re feeling. For example, an Introvert who needs emotional understanding from others will likely be strongly affected by challenges in forming close relationships. Or an Extrovert who needs stimulation and challenge from others will likely be strongly affected by challenges resulting in their isolation. Developing new relationship skills can also help us to realise the potential of our characteristics. Learning how to be more assertive can allow an Extrovert to lead using their natural positive drive without alienating others and can allow an Introvert to lead using their natural diplomacy without being drowned out. In this way, these labels can help us to get what we need to feel fulfilled and true to ourselves.

The best of both worlds

Recent research suggests that there are more Extroverts than Introverts in the world (link to source material below). This can leave Introverts feeling outnumbered and sometimes like there’s something wrong with them. It’s common to compare ourselves to others rather than recognising and appreciating what we are. In fact, there are many things to celebrate about both Extroverts and Introverts. Research also suggests that approximately 70% of people are Ambiverts. There are people who fall somewhere between the two categories, and there may be specific situations that bring out their introvert or extrovert characteristics. The likelihood is therefore that we are a combination of the two, and that we need to find a way to balance these different needs.

Further information

This article on ‘The Advantage of Being Ambivert’ talks about the recent research mentioned above. And here are a couple of short videos that explore ‘Which One Are You?’ and ‘What’s the Difference?’